Does Anybody Notice That I’m Not There?

Have you ever not gone to something and wondered if anyone noticed you weren’t there? Maybe you were sick or stuck at work. No one calls to see if you are okay. You wonder if they even noticed you weren’t there. Does anyone care?

I recently received an email from one parishioner letting me know that another parishioner was having some health problems and would like a visit from a priest. I was very grateful for the email. I was grateful that the first person let me know of the need for the second person to receive a visit. I became very grateful when I visited the person and found out the person has been dealing with health issues for a while and hasn’t been at church regularly in several years. I would never have known this if not for the email.

In Acts 6:1-7, some people come to the Twelve Apostles complaining that some widows “were being neglected in the daily distribution.” As soon as the Twelve knew there was a problem, they immediately acted to address the situation. That’s why I tried to do above. The email I received that brought the need for a visit wasn’t a complaint. It was a helpful note to me advising me of the situation.

Around the same time I received another email from a former parishioner that “complained” that no one from the parish was reaching out to those who have stopped coming to church and the shut-ins. Here, I want to admit that I don’t visit the homebound that I do know about as much as I should. The reality is I am too busy (more on that later). That being said, I do not know every person who stops coming to church, whether homebound because of health issues or dissatisfaction. The person I visited above has not been to church since I came to here. They were not a parishioner when I used to belong here. So, through nobody’s fault, I didn’t know the person. I didn’t know that they needed a visit.

Even with people who do come to church, I don’t know who everyone is. If I don’t know who someone is, it’s hard to know when they are not there. I hope I am not sounding like I am making excuses. I’m trying to help people understand the reality of the situation. I (and other priests in other parishes) can’t know everyone.

In terms of noticing someone is missing, sometimes I notice a familiar face isn’t at Mass but I don’t know the person’s name. So, I can’t follow up on my own.

Here is where I pray that each person in church is known by someone else. I pray that someone notices when someone is missing. No one should go unnoticed or feel forgotten.

We are called to love our neighbor. When we notice a neighbor in need, what are we supposed to do? Ask yourself what God calls you to do and do it. Last week we had a parishioner become ill and go to the hospital. A friend of theirs did two things. First, she visited her friend in the hospital and she called our office to let us know the parishioner was in the hospital. Because of her call, I went to the hospital and offered the Anointing of the Sick. I am grateful for the person who called. (Please know that, because of HIPPA rules, the hospitals do not call the parishes unless the patient specifically asks them to)

So what should you do if you notice someone isn’t in church? First, if you know the person, is God calling you to call or visit them to see what is going on?

If you don’t know them well enough to call them, do you know another parishioner who is friends with them who could check on them? Or does God want you to let our office know the person is ill?

So far I have been speaking in the context of people who are ill and unable to come. You might be aware of someone who has simply stopped coming to church for no particular reason or because they are upset by something. Either way, can you talk to them about it or is there someone who should?

Returning to those who are unable to come to church because of poor health, it’s time we get ourselves back on track with visits and bringing the Communion. COVID stopped us from gathering together in church for three months in 2020. When we resumed Masses, visits to nursing homes were still not allowed. Home visits remained on hold to avoid spreading the virus. A year later home visits started to resume. It was two years after the shutdown before I could say Mass at the Falls Home. Since then, I have also resumed a monthly Mass at Seneca View Nursing facility. At both places, the people are very happy that I come and celebrate Mass with them on a monthly basis.

I’m writing this in the context of the two churches I serve but the pattern is the same in other parishes. One priest cannot do it all themselves. What we do have is parishioners. When the Twelve Apostles learned that some widows were being neglected, they took action. However, they didn’t try to do it all themselves. Others were found who had the gift and call from God to fulfill the needed ministry. They were appointed by the Twelve to carry out this ministry.

I am grateful for the parishioners we have that are already visiting the homebound and bringing Communion to them. I am also grateful for the visits made by our deacons. Still, I know of a few parishioners who are not being visited regularly. I suspect there are more.

Long before Christ, Moses realized he needed help (see Exodus 18:13-27, Numbers 11) and appointed others to help. Has God given you the gifts to visit the homebound and those in nursing homes and bring them Communion? Is God calling you as a disciple to this ministry?

If you are a member of St. Mary’s of the Lake or St. Benedict’s and feel called to this ministry, please contact me. If you belong to another parish, if you feel God is calling you to this ministry, contact your local parish to see what help is needed.

If you are, or someone you know is, homebound and would like a visit, please let your local parish know.

Lastly, I feel I need to say that my asking for parishioners to volunteer to make visits is not about getting me off the hook. It is always my goal (although I haven’t been doing very good at it lately), to make some visits myself. When people need to be anointed or wish to confess their sins, that means I need to visit them. My goal in asking for volunteers is to ensure all the homebound who want visits are seen on some regular basis. If these visits are done by others, then I can visit everyone on occasion or as needed.

Lastly, a reminder that whether or not you feel called by God to make visits, if you know of someone in need of a visit, please speak up. And pray for those who are called to make the visits step forward to answer the call.

Peace,

Fr. Jeff