Changing Funeral Customs

The seventh Corporal Work of Mercy is to bury the dead.  Its scriptural basis is found in Tobit 1:16-18 and 1 Kings 14:11-13.  In the Catholic Church the corporal work of burying the dead is more than just literally burying the deceased person.  Traditionally burying the dead has been seen as a time of gathering in vigil for the deceased where friends and family come to pay their respects and offer their condolences (known in present day U.S. as calling hours), a funeral Mass, and proper burial in a cemetery (as discussed in my homily for November 12, 2017).   

Proper burial in the Catholic Church until the last fifty years meant a full body burial in a proper burial plot.  Only in the last fifty years has the Catholic Church allowed cremation.  Cremation was previously forbidden as cremation typically involved beliefs contrary to the resurrection of the body (“Instruction Ad resurgendum cum Christo regarding the burial of the deceased and the conservation of the ashes in the case of cremation.”) 

Regrettably, our culture is even losing its importance of literally burying the dead.  The world is losing respect for the human body after death and beginning to develop ways to turn the human body into compost or dissolve it in chemicals and let the resulting liquid go down the drain.  Thankfully, these actions are not approved in the Catholic Church (see USCCB document, “On the Proper Disposition of Bodily Remains” and my articles, “Respecting the Dead” and “More on Respecting the Dead”) 

In the United States, the previously mentioned funeral customs of immediate calling hours, funeral service (Mass for Catholics) and burial are changing.  In reading obituaries one frequently finds the words “services at a later time.”  The importance of a timely burial is being lost.  Sometimes this is for sound reason, namely when an immediate family cannot travel immediately but can came soon relatively soon.  The prime example of this is the COVID shutdown and subsequent social distancing.  On the other hand, sometimes “services at a later date” means the family will do it when it is convenient. 

At least when it says, “services at a later date,” a service is done.  One can also frequently find obituaries that say, “no services.”  When I read “no services,” I normally assume the deceased and/or their family are agnostic/atheist, thus having no belief in life after death but this is not always true.   

Writing as a person of faith who very much believes in eternal life in Heaven, I wonder how an atheist deals with death.  For them, earthly death is final.  There is nothing more.  Death holds an eternal grip over them but not for us.  Isaiah 25:6-9 speaks of what Jesus will do for us.  He will destroy the grip death has over us by revealing that God has power even over death.  Those who believe in Jesus and follow him will rise in the resurrection.  This changes how we look at life in this world.  It redefines the meaning of life. 

We can also find in obituaries the phrase, “Celebration of Life.”  Generally, obituaries do not give any details of what a “celebration of life” is.  In comparison to the obituaries that say, “no services,” I see “celebration of life” and think, “at least they are doing something.”  As human beings, closure can be important for us.  As a person of faith, I am not in favor of “celebrations of life” without a religious service but at least it acknowledges in a tangible way the passing of a loved one and might offer an opportunity for closure. 

What should we do?  What the Catholic Church has practiced for centuries.  These traditional practices suit our humanity well.  The calling hours provide a time for sympathy and consolation.  If calling hours are done, I favor them the day before to provide an opportunity for those who cannot attend the funeral to pay their respects.  Here we offer the Spiritual Work of Mercy to comfort the sorrowful. 

Another Spiritual Work of Mercy is to pray for the living and the dead.  Writing as a Catholic, a funeral Mass is essential.  At a funeral Mass, we pray for consolation for the deceased family and friends.  We find hope in readings from the Bible that speak of the forgiveness of sins that Jesus makes possible through his death on the Cross and what God offers us in eternal life.  A service that is not a Mass can do this much.   

However, a funeral Mass offers something that a service does not, the sacrifice of the Mass.  We offer the sacrifice of Jesus for their sins for their time in Purgatory.  Purgatory is a gift.  We need to seek God’s forgiveness while we are still alive in this world.  Yet the effects of sin remain in our bodies and souls.  Purgatory is God’s gift to remove that effect so we can enter Heaven (for more on Purgatory see my article, “Purgatory as a Gift That Gets Us in Shape for Heaven”). 

I encourage you to tell your children that you want a Catholic funeral Mass.  I know people who say a service is okay because they know their children do not go to church.  Your funeral is about you and offering the sacrifice of the Mass for you.  It is also your last chance in this world to get them to church.  Pray that the graces God offers at a funeral touches them.  I know of families who were not going to church resume going because of the grace and compassion received at a funeral Mass and in the funeral ministry of the parish. 

As I conclude, I leave you with the following words found in Preface I for the Dead at Mass 

In him the hope of blessed resurrection has dawned, 
that those saddened by the certainty of dying 
might be consoled by the promise of immortality to come. 
Indeed for your faithful, Lord, 
life is changed not ended, 
and, when this earthly dwelling turns to dust, 
an eternal dwelling is made ready for them in heaven. 

Peace, 

Fr. Jeff